Teenage Dilemma? Advice Appreciated!?

I'm 14,


living in a small suburban community that doesn't offer very much to the insatiably curious mind.


Any opportunity to particiapate in challenges (like writing), I take.


Success is like validation for me, confirming that I'm worth something in this world (sick but true).


Unfortunately, when I do well at something, all I can think is that someone else did better. It's like I'll never be good enough.


So, I spend many sleepless nights pondering the opportunites gone by, reflecting upon my failures, and wishing that I was better.


I'm not sure how to deal with this, but I'm getting really frustraited and need a new solution.Teenage Dilemma? Advice Appreciated!?
It sounds as if you're very bright and rather bored.. a dangerous combination! Having such a strong drive as you do to succeed is not a bad thing.. with your focus, intelligence and time you will be a huge success probably at whatever you turn your hand to.. People who constructively criticise their own performance constantly improve.. just don't beat yourself up that you are not as brilliant as you want to be yet!! Remember you are only 14 (don't mean to be patronising but it's true!) the rest of your life is for working towards where you want to be in life.. You are on the bottom of the ladder, think of every achievement you make as a step up that ladder.. You'll go far just try to look on the positive side a bit more and tell yourself next time you'll do even better.. I wonder what you'll be when you're older? Something tells me it will be impressive.. good luck and go climb that ladder!!Teenage Dilemma? Advice Appreciated!?
Ya, this may sound a little crazy but laying awake at nite going over your failures is going to set you up for a ruff life.


Instead of laying there I would suggest learning some yoga to do when you can't sleep just to get your mind running in a different direction, you'll be healthier for it and it's good for the mind too.


Just remember you focus on what you want, not on what you don't want.


Don't focus on the problem


Focus on the solution.


Good Luck
AH , so i come up with this dilemma much . Specially with dance , BUT . Try to think of it as a MOTIVATION for you to keep trying to do better. If you always think of trying to become the best, even though yo know that other people are better than you , it works if you have enough self confidence and motivasiton to keeep going . Challenges are always great, in which . if you think of wanting a challenge, is to challenge yourself against these people who are 'so called better'
Try not to get so frustrated. There will always be someone better than you at something, always and chances are you are better at something than other people. Just do your best at everything and dont let the world or this feeling of not being good enough get you down. Life is too short to dewell on the negative or ponder on silly things such as this! Live! Sleep at night! And do what you want,when you want, how you want and where you( Just dont do anything stupid %26gt;_%26gt;) You can do it! (^.^(b
Im very similar to this. Im very OCD sometimes and a perfectionist. I learned to understand though, that each person has a function. Each person has their own agenda, their own destiny and cannot be compared. Never compare. You have to be a winner in your mind.


Try not to think ''oh I did well...but not good enough because that girl did better.'' When you find yourself thinking that way, immediately start thinking that you did the best YOU could. Think of how you advanced and how you improved at something compared to before...but not compared to someone else.
You have a circle of concern and a circle of influence. Focus on your circle of influence (i.e. things you can actually change) and not on your circle of concern, which extends beyond what you can actually change. The more you focus on your circle of influence the greater it will become. It will give you more and more opportunities to succeed.





This is all from Stephen R. Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I highly recommend it.
i'd say chillax and just let everything go... but if you're like i was when i had that problem you probably can't. besides, striving to be the best at everything isn't really a bad thing as long as you know that you won't always reach that goal. your young spend sometime enjoy basic things like saturday morning cartoons. do things just to do them, not to be competitive. fall in love.


you have time, you'll eventually learn to throw your head back and just look at the clouds
I just turned 13, so i kinda know what your going through.....


well everyone will always be better than you, you should do well but have fun and remember no one is perfect.... if you have i million dollars and someone has a billion, of course you want to have more than them, but there will always be someone with more... its hard to help, or explain but set little goals and try your hardest, if you do that then people will like you.... it may not have helped much, but i hope it did.....
you cant be the best at everything, so find one thing your really good at like writing and after a while of working hard you should get better and maybe eventually become the best =]


or compare yourself to most people at school,


are you better then alot of them at something?
You need to start comparing yourself to your friends or people around you, because I can tell that you are a very bright person.
I do the same,


Trick is ... remembering that nobody did it the same way you did.
quit worry about everyone else. if you think your doin good, dont let waht someone else did make you feel like you did bad
c'mon now, you are not 14!!





if you are, talk to a counselor and apply eary to Yale
The point is not being better than every one else, or even anyone else. The point is, ';Am I better today than I was a year a go, or a month ago.'; Are you getting better at what you do well, naturally.


Being worth something is being worth something, NOT worthy more than someone else.


If you worry about this hyper-competitiveness, you're just make yourself miserable; and you'll always worry, than someone will come along what's better.


And, there is not sense to ';pondering the opportunities gone by';--they're gone, for sure. Work more at recognizing the opportunities facing you now or soon. Those you can take advantage of. Have you hear the saying, ';Why worry about spilled milk.'; Such worry does absolutely no good, but it is powerful--in making you miserable.


Here's one for you; you like writing: Make it a goal to write something everyday (at least nearly every day), even when you're sick. Go to Amazon.com, get some highly rated (5 starts) books on writing. Study everything you can on it. Get as good as you can. You're never be sorry, even if you don't wind up being a writer.


Say with me, ';I don't care how well other people write, to heck with that! I just want to be as good as I can be!';
I know you might not want to hear this, but this is most likely a stage that a lot of teenagers go through in their lives. But you may have some issues with yourself too. It seems like you depend on concrete success and other people's opinions to boost your own self confidence/self worth. This is not the way to go. You have to believe from within that you're worth it. I was like you before, and it got me nowhere. I dug myself into a hole that was very, very difficult to get out of, and I'm STILL trying to pick up all the broken little pieces of my life, even today. You should talk to a close friend, someone that would understand you. Even a school counselor could just lend you a listening ear. But just to tell you, there isn't a concrete solution to every problem. Life isn't black and white, it's a mixture of everything. So you have to accept reality, and the fact that there is no one solution to your problem. It was caused by many things, and it can eventually be extinguished by a combination of things.