Parenting advice - Naive teenage girl!!!!?

OK - i have a problem!! I'm very annoyed!!





I'm not a parent but i am a brother... my younger sister is 13 yrs old... over the last 2-3 months she has gone from being a young girl to a young lady... and has gone from hating boys to loving them!





She told me she had a date... and was hazey on the details... to cut a long story short i went on her computer to try and find out more aout the lad on a socialising website she uses!!.... she told me this boy was13 and lives in our city!... i found out she was completly lying!!!%26gt;.. it appears she has met him online!.... he lives 100 miles away and worst of it is he's 17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





She is completely naive and i am gutted at the lies she has told!!





Now i know i need to do sometyhing but my question is what??





The obvious thing is tell our parents... BUT that has its drawbacks... i know that they will fly completly off the handle... they will take her comp/phone etc away and after 3 months shell prob have it all back... and shell do it again but be more secretive!





Or do i tackle her about it?..... and try offeringher advice and risk again that she is more secretive in the future??





I am scared of her just doing something similar in the future.... she is so naive and doesnt realise the dangers she is putting herself in!!???





Any help will be muchly appreciated!!!





Thanks. Parenting advice - Naive teenage girl!!!!?
Ok - my first thought is always to check on this website if people are serious or not. Your other questions are private so I can't tell if you are playing with us or not.





I suspect not. I hope not, because you have just made a lot of women very, very happy. Your concern for your sister is lovely - and very sweet.





You say that she is 'totally naive' yet she is lying to you? Hmm. Not naive. Clever, manipulative, shadowy, secretive.... FEMALE AND TEENAGE!





Look- your a sweety - don't go to your parent's - they will go bezurk. I think you should speak to her -say - I know your seeing someone - don't back her into a corner - remember where you are in your life - don't discriminate just because she is a girl - remember she is in someways more mature - sit on her bed, share a pizza and say 'sis... where are you with boys etc at the mo? cos (and you going to find this bit difficult) I'm your bro - and I love you, and I'm looking out for you.,'





Keep it between you at the mo - you have more power than your parents in some ways - your parents will make her angry and defensive, you can get her onside and watch what is going on.





What a lovely brother you are.Parenting advice - Naive teenage girl!!!!?
That's quite a situation.





Talk to her about it, relate with stories if you can. She'll probably throw a fit, but let it pass and keep persisting. She needs to know why it's wrong.





Perhaps you could contact the guy through facebook or something, tell him you want him to back off (in a polite way), or you'll report him.
You need to tell your parents about it, but make sure that they understand that keeping her away from communication will do nothing to help. They need to explain to her the dangers of what she is doing.
Tell your parents, report the 17-year old guy, and tell her that he lives 100 miles away and doesn't even know who she is.
You're her brother. Butt out and stop invading her privacy.



Google some stories on little girls like her that were raped and murdered by the guys that they met online and show her.






wow the guy is 17 and she is 13 why cant the guy find a girl his age instead of going out with a kid i think we may have just found the next garry glitter
Your parents need to know whats going on, consequences are up to them and hopefully they will start monitoring you sister on the computer or put it in a central area in the home where she can't hide information. You are the brother and have every right to be concerned but you can't really discipline your sister, if something happens your parents need to know. Tell your parents your concerns, and let your sister know you will be speaking with them. You could ask them to take her to the police department to talk with an officer who may have worked a case involving online solicitation.
Spy on them online with a fake avatar. I'm sure you know how.


See what you can get out of this guy online by posing as a girl on a chat site with a fake photo. My guess is this guy isn't even 17, he's prolly 30 and a perv.


Also, you can talk to her honestly and tell her she is in danger. Make sure she knows she can call you any time on your cell or whatever.


Maybe you can discuss something about computer monitoring or something with your parents, but in a way that makes you innocent of telling them about the ';date'; but yet increases parental observation.


In other words, be sneakier than she is.
I understand your concern,what she is doing is very dangerous.She really does not know who this is she is talking to ,he could be a predetor.I would talk to another adult that you trust maybe even a police officer,he will be able to direct you in this situation.They may want to follow her on this secret meeting.Stick with your gut instinct


and protect your sister...By the way,,you are a good brother:)
ha this is a tricky one..im 17





at that age girls are extremely sensitive about the whole boy thing and privacy is something that is treasured. I think the best way to approach it is by talking to her about the boy that shes dating..ask her querstions about where she met him things like that..and then gradually talk to her about how online dating is unsafe. Dont grill her though that will just piss her off.





hope that helps..girls are complicated especially at that age.





-danii-
I think it was a bit harsh to go on your sisters computer, but I guess you had a reason to. To be honest I would talk to her about, don't get your parents involved unless she does it again. Don't just shout at her for doing it, as that will lead to rebelling. I cant say she's gonna wanna listen to you when you decide what to tell her, but good luck.
you say you're taking her for ice cream and then while you two are walking or driving you ease yourself into the subject:





you: about your date that day what happened?





her:?????





you:we should go see him since he lives so close to us.





her: (excuses not to go see him)





you: well i want to talk to him on the phone just to see what he sounds like.





her:????????





you: is there something you're not telling me?








(don't ever leave the subject until she confesses)


GOOD LUCK!!
90% of websites like that (especially myspace) people don't put their real information. My myspace says I am 89 years old and live in Neece, France! I'm 13 and live in the US, and my friends who get on there know it. It also doesn't mean her boyfriends a liar.





Just ask her about it and DON'T tell your parents. That always causes more harm than good.





PLEASE PLEASE don't get your sister in trouble!! I'm sure he's not really 17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!鈥?br>




Also, tell her that you will tell the parents if she doesn't let you read what they've been saying to each other. If he says ';Don't tell your mom'; or ';I understand you'; then he's probably an online predator. If he says normal boy stuff, or especially specific events that went on at school, im sure he's just an average boy.








**Also!! Offer to drive her. That way you can see if its a nice boy or a creep. I know I'd prefer my school older brother escorting me than my parents.
Take her on a surprise trip down to your local police department (arrange it with them before hand) and let them give her a mini lecture on the dangers of Internet activities with similar circumstances. And put a limitation on her computer internet access, so that she cannot im or chat with anyone (unless you plug in the name to her computer, and you will only plug in a name after you've chatted with that friend of hers on the phone for a couple of minutes) and that will stay that way till she turns 18 since she already proved herself to be not responsible enough as you yourself described her actions.
Teach her about paedophiles, show her this http://uk.youtube.com/results?search_que鈥?/a>


this '17' year old is probably 50, you have a right to be concerned!





I would talk to her and get her to see sense, tell her that if she plans to meet this guy then you WILL tell your parents, not to be a nag but to protect her from harm.





keep on being the caring excellent brother you are, without you she would be in real danger!





good luck