Need advice about my teenage son...he is more and more disrespectful and angry and distant from me than ever..

I have tried therapy for around 4 years, that did not work, he has done very poorly in middle school but is still struggling, has alot of problems with behavior in school, disrespecting teachers, hangs out with the wrong crowd in school, at home he just goes into myspace, does homework only when he sees that i have reached a boiling point. I have thought about sending him with his dad at least during the school week because he respects him and will be controlled...is this a mistake? Will he resent me, hate me? I dont want him to think i gave up on him, but he needs to see that i am not a wimpy mom, and i will sacrifice not having him around as much for his own good. I love him sooooo much but dont want him to drop out of school and be a loser in life...I want what is best for him, to have a future and be productive in our society...I welcome your advice...especially a teenagers point of view...it may help me understand what he is going through.Need advice about my teenage son...he is more and more disrespectful and angry and distant from me than ever..
kk, I'm a teen. First of all, the reason he doesn't respect you is because you don't discipline him. Also, myspace is junk, block it from your computer. You may want to visit his myspace in your freetime and find out who his ';friends'; are so that you can see what he's really up to. For the school thing, when he comes home, give him 30 min to get a snack or whatever he needs, then he needs to do his schoolwork. Check on him every few minutes to make sure he's doing his work. He'll probably hate your guts for a while, but when he's an adult, he'll be glad you kept him from doing all this stuff. Another thing, if you find out that he was being disrespectful in school, take away a privilage. Such as, concerts for exapmle. A ton of teenage boys love to go to concerts, so, if you tell him he can't go to one: it will be a real punishment. And he won't want it to happen again, so he won't do it again. (this will take a few times.) I really hope everything works out. By the way, I'm 15.Need advice about my teenage son...he is more and more disrespectful and angry and distant from me than ever..
Do YOU have the ability to talk to him as a third person?


What you can do is sit him down and have him tell you what is wrong. No matter what it is. Be sure to take notes, I'm sure he's got a long one. Try not to make any ';parent'; comments. He will want a friend's point of view. If you can't do that, take your notes and post them here, you'll get lots of opinions that you can sort thru.


Therapy won't work. They usually only have one way to doing things and everyone is different. You have to back off of the parent role and take on more of a friend role with teens. Simply because ALL teens have the rebel streak. I know it's wierd but...a 'friend' can say the same thing as a 'parent' and the teen will only do it AFTER the friend's advice.
You have to do the best for your son, even if it means sending him to his father. And as a last resort, ';boot camp';. Do either of them now, before something happens and a criminal record is created. Good luck.
Wow!!! I know exactly where you are coming from. My mother is at her wits end with my twin brothers. They are 16 and are so disrespectful. One of my brothers doesn't even go to school anymore because his attitude towards the teachers and other elders was so bad. My mom has sent him to his dad's to stay, but he was back in the house a week later...not to mention that he still came over everyday to eat and take a shower while he was living with his dad. He even steals from his friends and family. He is also hanging with the wrong crowd.


Does your son have a girlfriend??? Ever since my brother got his new girlfriend his attitude seems to get worse by the day. He treats my mother and I like crap. He seems to treat the ones that care about him the most the worst.


I don't know if you have Job Corps where you live, but that is something that we are looking into. It gives them a chance to get their diploma and get them started in the working world. They train them for specific jobs...kinda like a trade or vocational school. Last resort would be military school. Hope everything gets better. If you don't like the idea of sending him to these schools then you should either talk to him or go though therapy. Good luck.
are you and your ex able to get together and talk with him if your son repects him maybe you can come up with a similar way of dealing with him
I have friend in a similar problem. What happened is BOTH of them sat down their son and told him to get his act straight. When both of you have united front with your son he will no longer think he can run over you but not his Dad. If that doesn't work, then send him to his Dad's he is not gonig to resent you for trying to keep him on the right track and out of trouble.


Remember during those years we resent our parents for breathing. Anything else they do is simply icing. Do not be afraid of that. Keep doing your best for him and don't give. I think you can do it.
I think you should pretty much tell him the same thing. That you love him more than anything, but you can't let him keep being disrespectful and unproductive.





Tell him that he has a choice. He can do his homework, chores, and be respectful, or you he will be punished. Punishment could be loss of privileges (computer), grounding, etc... Tell him you are going to let his dad know about his behavior.





I would only send him to dad to live as a last resort.
therapy sucks kids hate it expetialy kids


have you ever (when tings are doing o.k)


just sat down and talked to him
he's just trying to be cool, thats #1 priority for a teen. even though you want what's best for him he just doesn't see how this can really affect him. if you think having him stay with his dad is best then try that, but talk to him and let him know you aren't giving up, you just think he'll be happy there.
he is just going through a phase where all teenagers think that there out of there childhood and they want to have fun so here's what you do on a weekday or weekend sit him down or when he's not busy say to him and ask him what or where do you wanna go then he'll reply back and if he says he wants to go to the mall or somewhere to his friends house drive him there you'll have more time to spend with him and and talk about what's going on then he'll just get use to that routine and he'll get use to you too.