Teenage stepdaughter...need advice!!?

Ok Yahoo Answerers, I need advice!! I have a 13 year old stepdaughter. I have been with her father since she was 3, so it's not like I am ';new'; in the picture. Anyway, lately she has been sending me HORRIBLE emails, calling me evil, a b--ch, everything else. Her father confronted her and a told her this is not acceptable. She settled down and it seemed that she got over whatever it was causing it. The other night she left a screen up on the computer and it was her Facebook page. She posted a comment about her stepmom is the biggest b--ch, a stupid c--t, a fat cow, etc. How do I confront her on this??Teenage stepdaughter...need advice!!?
Wow! We could almost be the same person! I have a 15 year old step-daughter that we now have custody of (Her mother kicked her out.) Her father and I have been together for nearly 13 years, and I have taken care of her even when she was an infant. She still calls me horrible names and tries to treat me with disrespect. Someone in her life is turning her against you. In my case it is her ';mother';. For years that woman has told her lies about not only me, but her father as well. Although you have been a major presence in her life, she is going to push you to your limits to see how committed you are to her and her father. Eventually, she will see her antics are not working.





All you can do is communicate with her father so there are no suprises about how she is acting out, continue to be the adult and let her be the immature 13 year old she is. Eventually, (and I have experienced this with my step-daugter...) she will be mature enough to see who genuinely has her best interest at heart, who treats her with love and respect and who is lying to her and who is not. She will see this for herself someday and change her ways.





For years, I have told my step-daughter (who, by the way, says she hates her mother. They have a very volatil relationship) that you teach people how to treat you. If she is acting disrespectful and nasty, it is probably because that is what she is getting from her mother or other adult female influence. My step-daughter is finally seeing what I have been saying and is slowly coming around(Although we still have our ';bad';days). You just have to let her be a teen and be there for her when she needs you!





I wish you luck! Feel free to e-mail me and we can support each other!Teenage stepdaughter...need advice!!?
i feel horrible for u bcause im 12 and i have a step-mom and i just love her sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo鈥?much. i think that u and her dad should set up consequenses for this kind of behavior bcause it is just not right
well, to be honest she might be upset that you read her facebook page and might think that you were snooping. but when you do talk to her just ask her the questions. say what have i done to you to make you feel this way about me? and it should go from there. you should say that you have felt you did nothing wrong either.
just go to her and be like this is not how you treat me, at all. you may not like me but thats fine, you dont have to like everyone. its just very disrespectful to do those things. i am older than you and your fathers wife so you should respect me, and in return i will respect you.
Your stepdaughter sounds like a complete B*TCH!!!! You need to punish her like grounding her or something.
Well it is good that you are not new.. I did have a step mom so I am going off my experience. First off, and most important, remember that you are the adult, and she is a teenager. That is the most important part. Accept that she would be doing this to anyone, and if you are a sensible adult then you will be able to pull through this and later on you will be closer because of it. So first off, do not lash out back. My stepmom told us that no one would ever love us. Not exactly something you forget. You need to sit down and talk to her just as you would an adult. Keep your husband out of it, and make him disapear for the night. Explain that you would like to fix it, and that you understand that sometimes it is hard because you don't agree on certain things. She might feel as though you are influencing her dad in a negative way. Write down all the questions that you have. Tell her that she can write you if she doesn't want to tell it to your face. But remember she is a teenage girl.. and I said many things about my parents that weren't really true.. but it happens. :) Good luck. Be the adult!
is her mother in the picture as well? Do you get along with her? Is it something that she is bringing in from outside influences or is she just deciding this is how she feels? If there are no outside influences I would set down with all adult parties involved and handle it together. She needs to know she CAN NOT act or talk like that. ';if'; someone else is helping her find these emotions (like mom) Sounds like you will be having some ongoing problems.....best of luck!
well...she's clearly possessed by the devil and needs an exorcism right away...





splash her with holy water and see what happens...





if she blisters and speaks in tongues, then you know what to do...
The only I can add to what everyone else is saying is this..Give her a hug and tell her you love her no matter what she says or does. Tell her she don't have to like you,just respect you. I almost want to say that she left her facebook open on purpose-she wanted to provoke you it sounds like.But then again that is just my thoughts.. Good luck! :)
you should treat her horrible and be like now am i a bitc*





or confront her and ask her what did you do and your sorry for whatever you did
ohh, all teens go through it. believe it or not, she needs you now more than ever. she's becoming a teenager, maybe that is what you need to talk to her about, changes.
FIRST: DO NOT take this personally. It is a teenage thing. Really. I have a 14yr and his myspace says awful things about me and I am the bio parent!


Second: You and your husband need to agree on a few things and express them to your daughter. Such as: Of course she cannot say that to your face, that is not acceptable. But do you really care if she tells her friends things about you? You know she will have new friends in a few days!


Like I said, she is just trying to get your goat, exert her independence as a teen. BUT if you decide this is an issue (the Facebook) then your husband and you should talk to her together after agreeing on a system of consequences. That applies for all ';misbehaving';. Unify first, then tell the kid, then stick to it. That goes for bio parents or stepparents IMO.
oh dear... at her age kids do really like to rebel, i'm 15 but i never said anything like that to my mother, father or stepmother... there were times when i wanted to yell at my stepmother but i never did, i love her as she loves me... well, anyhow, she may have heard a rumore or just doesn't like the fact that you ';stole'; her father from her mother... ask her to talk, ask her if she has a problem with you... and kindly ask what it is you did that made her feel so angry at you... don't get angry until you hear the answer, if she has a good reason just apologize and say that you are very sorry that it made her feel like you should be out of the picture... if her reason is just unkind, rude r there is no reason than tell her that she should grow up and give you an other chance... whatever you do when you ask her, be kind at the begginning so it will make her feel bad for insulting you and will show her tat her insults were wrong!!!





good luck!!!
Aww hunni, shes going through a tough time in her life. Shes just trying to express it, as mean as that is. She might think you did something like, you know, not letting her have something and she throws this huge fit. Just go up to her and ask her what you did wrong. Don't try the whole, ';come on, lets talk heart to heart!!'; thing with her. It just sounds like she has a tude, but I'm betting its just a phase. Maybe you should just leave her alone for a while, and she'll realize one day, shes lucky to have a stepmom instead of no mom. PS just delete the emails. She sounds like she just wants attention. (Negative attention, that is!!) If this is really bugging you, go to a counciler or just have her dad read the emails and Facebook comments again and maybe he can talk some sense into her.





Good Luck xJuliax
maybe she is angry cause she doesnt have her mother. maybe she wants to live like her friends that have their birth mother. she needs professional help. maybe she can have a disorder or a syndrome.





in my opinion maybe she doesnt loves you, maybe you could show her more love and maybe you forbid her too many things. its okay to protect your kids but then they will start thinking ';she isnt my birth mother anyway, who is she to tell me what to do?';. but if you are nice to her, if you dont yell, then I think something must be wrong with her mentally. a nicely raised child wouldnt be so evil. there is lack of love in her, I'm sure of that. but I heard about a girl that tried to kill her parents and she posted a video on youtube and she said how she failed. people can get all kinds of mental issues.





I would get her professional help, cause even if you talk with her, there is a high chance that she will be lying. get her a therapist, a good one and let her to be alone. but you can talk and hope for her to be honest.
Does she still have contact with her real mother? If so, is it possible that her mother is saying nasty things about you?





When I was younger, my mom used to play that game. When we would visit her she would tell us stories about how my stepmom ';stole'; my dad away and how my stepmom was just this horrible person. She would tell us what life would be like if she and my dad were still together. She said all kinds of horrible things in an attempt to get us to hate our stepmom.





If you haven't done anything to provoke such hateful feelings from her, my best guess is that she is hearing it from somewhere else, presumably her mother.
I go through this stuff with my stepdaughter. One day I'm her best friend and the next day I am the cause of all her problems (I mean it HAS to be me. Her problems couldn't possibly come from her mother who is a crackhead and a prostitute). You are her stepparent. You are the root of all evil. Honestly, she's probably pissed at her mother, but taking it out on you. Because you are there.
I hate to say it, but its probably just her age. She would be doing the same things if you were her biological mother, i'm afraid.


If she really does have beef with the fact that you are only her father's wife, it is probably because she is taking out abandonment issues (from her mom) on you.


I'm not sure what you can do. I guess just continue the relationship as it was going. You can't lash out or be mean, because then she will feel warrented and validated in having those feelings.


I'm not suggesting you be her best friend, i am just saying tell her you hope things relax enough in her life so that she can be your family again, and in the mean time just keep on keeping on.
ok i think i'll be the most help here....im 14 and i have a step mother i hate to and shes not new in the picture either....





ok i never really hated her before but then she had 3 miscarriges and was REALLY mean to me.....anyway she starte acting sorta weird like ignoring us, saying im too fat and things like that...did you say anything that could have hurt her feelings? i but the reason i became angry at her when i grew up was because i felt that she was the reason my parents split and she caused my family to tear apart....i totally blame every thing bad in this world on her because maybe if she didnt marry my dad i'd still have a mother AND a father IN THE SAME house.....but i didnt think of this unil i was about 12 and thats when problems have always occured....my mom also hates this women (my step mom) and she says a lot of mean things about ther so maybe her mom is giving her the ideas? i didnt go around saying bad things about her but only to my friends but i have never posted it online...i suggest you sit down to talk to her like i wished my step mom would hav (now divorced from my dad...thank god....) and i wish we spent more time together just talking and resolving our differances and that could have prevented all the messed up drama that went around here....





i hope i helped you...aneta
Ok well im a teenager and i had a stepmom for a while when i was younger and i DID NOT like it so i could sortof understand why shes doing this.


First of all, dont look at her private things and her business


it doesnt help





just leave it alone.
She is needing you, I too went through this with my own mom and step-dad, my dad stopped visiting with me and my step-dad and my mom were all I had. She is going through puberty and it is a tough thing for most. Hormones are all crazy! Best thing to do is just BE THERE. But I would just maybe talk to her as a ';friend'; would, just let her know that it hurt your feelings and ask her to take it down. And I am sure she will come up with the ';snooping'; in my room, just remind her that as fast as she was given the computer privilege you can take it away.
you should tell her calling any kind of mother those names really hurts them. tell her she doesn't have the best of moods all the time and that you still have to deal with her ! thats pretty rotten..
I would just tell her you do not approve of being put down or called names. Tell her that when she wants to sit down and act like mature, you will make time for her. Think of and list the qualities(good) about her and that u would like 2 see more of these %26amp; won't put up with anything else.


Let her know u love her and hope the 2 of u can be friends, if she needs you, you'll be there for her.


Then, walk away and let her come to you. Good luck!!